I sat at my desk and let the weight on my chest sink a littler heavier.
I breathed through it. Slowly. Feeling every milligram of it. Letting it settle into the very foundation of me like a full city block building does over time. And, then, like a strong man readying himself for a championship dead lift, I paid respect to the opponent. Nodded in humble reverence to the magnitude and the gravity of the task at hand.
I blinked at the screen and willed my head to just. stop. spinning. I talked to myself in perfect concentric circles, just trying to figure out where to start. As a list of things to do and no time to do them came crashing down. And for that one long second, in the space between walking away and starting again, for just that one second...I felt what it is to be paralyzed.
And the weight sank just a little heavier.
I looked up from my desk just in time to see Justin sprinting out the front door, down our front porch steps and across the street with his iPhone. But honestly, I didn't think much of it. If you lived with us you would know that Justin sprinting out the front door, down our front porch steps and across the street with his iPhone is pretty much a daily occurrence. So I watched him for a few minutes, taking pictures as it started to rain. And then as he started to run back inside, I turned back to face a blinking cursor on the screen. And that's when I heard it. He burst through the front door in one fluid motion, still dripping wet from standing in the rain and shouted....
Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up, HURRY UP!!!
I snapped at him, WHAT are you talking about?! But it was too late. I couldn't put up a fight fast enough as he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out the front door, down our front porch steps, and across the street. Still with his iPhone in hand. We took every protested step with me running down a list of to-do's that weren't yet to-done. And then, just like some scene in every save-the-world movie ever made, I stopped mid-sentence when I caught his eye line and turned to see just what on earth he could be looking at.
Ohhhh. I see.
Because right then, right there, right above us.....was a full arc, double rainbow filling a cement mixer sky. The first one I've ever seen in my life. On one end it started in the water and, hand to God I'm here to tell you, the other looked like it landed right smack dab in the middle of our house. It poured in through the roof top, where I like to imagine it came down the stairs and shot rainbow beams out the kitchen sink. But maybe that's just me. It was amazing. It was awe-inspiring . And in just about two minutes time...it was gone.
And I would've missed it. Never would have seen it. It would have passed me by. If I didn't always have someone by my side forcing me to look up once in a while.
I guess my point is, life is not always easy. In fact, a good bit of the time it can be really hard. It's definitely not all unicorns and glitter, and most of the time rather than feeling like you're somewhere over the rainbow, it might feel more like you're under it. But if you can take the time to stop and see, really see what's right in front of you right now....
It's still a pretty good way to dance in the storm. |
Life with J&M
